U've a SWEEEEEEEEET laughter
U've a SWEEEEEEEEET laughter
The bird had turned heads before kick-off in Hertfordshire when a woman brought it to the match in a cage. It behaved itself for the first-half of the quarter-final cup tie between the two non-league teams, watching play swing from end to end.
But 10 minutes into the second-half it began mimicking the referee's whistle, causing confusion on and off the pitch.
The match was halted and the woman and her parrot were told to leave the pitch-side.
Referee Gary Bailey said:
"I've never known anything like it in my football career.
"It was a big game and there were quite a lot of people there.
"This woman was standing right by the touchline and suddenly unveiled a big cage with this big green parrot in it.
"I didn't mind at first. But then every time I blew my whistle the bird made exactly the same sound.
"The players all stopped so I had to ask her to move the parrot.
"It was bizarre. The crowd were all laughing.
"Looking back I should have made far more of it and got out my red card to show to the parrot."
Hatfield Town swooped into the semi-final of the Hertfordshire Senior Centenary Trophy beating Hertford Heath 5-2 after extra-time.
A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.
"What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?", asks the cop.
"I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act" says the juggler.
"Oh yeah?" says the doubtful cop "Lets see you do it"
The juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully.
A couple driving by slows down to watch "Wow" says the driver to his wife, "I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!"
Southwark Council spokesman Gill Davies said: 'The imagination of some of the drivers is quite impressive. 'But UFOs and colour blindness unfortunately do no count as legitimate reasons to overturn a parking ticket.'
It was an excuse previously unknown to mankind. But that didn't stop a driver fined £120 for using a bus lane claiming he had only done so to avoid a UFO.
The motorist told parking officials that he was 'forced' to swerve into the bus lane to avoid a spaceship that was 'hurtling towards him' in Southwark, south London.
Appeals: Southwark Council has released details of the outlandish excuses some drivers have given to avoid paying fines - including one man who claimed he drove in a bus lane to avoid hitting an oncoming spaceship
He told an appeal that he would 'never normally' stray into a bus lane, but that he had to take 'avoidance action' as the vessel approached. But his pleas were rejected, with parking chiefs noting that the camera used to record his misdemeanour did not catch the unidentified flying object and forcing him to stump up the fine.
Other bizarre attempts to avoid fines revealed by Southwark Council include a motorist who told them he wasn't liable for a ticket because he was colour blind and thought a yellow line was blue. He told a parking appeal that because of his yellow/blue colour blindness he had 'no idea' that parking was restricted.
Again, his appeal was rejected on the grounds that 'everybody knows not to park on double lines, regardless of colour'.
Other chancers tried to avoid fines by saying they had been sleeping in their car and were taking government road safety advice by taking a break rather than 'drive tired'. Another said that he thought you could park anywhere when it was raining and yet another said they had 'no idea' what a residential parking bay was.
Some of the daft excuses came from Southwark Council in south London as they revealed unusual appeals they recieve.
"I was driving in the bus lane to avoid a UFO"
"I Couldn't help It. I Was Hypnotised to park illigally"
"IT was raining. I thought I could park anywhere if the weather was bad.
"I had a residents' parking permit on the dashboard but my parrot must have knocked it off."
"I can't help it. Someone has hypnotised me to park illegally."
"I parked on a yellow line because I had three puppies in the back and I wanted to keep an eye on them while I popped into a shop."
"I was sleeping in the back of the car. The parking attendant could have asked me to move the car instead of giving me a ticket, although he would not have seen me as I had a blanket over my head."
And parking is only the half of it...
"I wasn't wearing a seatbelt because I am an exotic dancer and the seatbelt pinches my nipple rings." "There was a bee around my head so I sped up to 80mph in the hope that it couldn't fly that fast and would have to stay in the back seat area and not distract me." "I won't lie. I should know better than to speed on that stretch of road because I ran a woman over there last week." "I didn't know the officer was trying to pull me over. I am sorry for going so fast but, to be fair, I'd had a lot to drink."
"My mother-in-law was nagging me that she would be late for a function."
"I know it was a no stopping zone but I had to let my dog out to relieve itself."
"I have to break the speed limit when going uphill or my van will stall."
"There was a strong wind behind my car which pushed me over the limit."
"The speed camera was triggered by a jet flying overhead, not my car."
“It was raining. I thought I could park anywhere if the weather was bad.”
“I don’t know what the yellow lines mean.”
“I had to pick up and take an injured dog to the vet and did not want the animal to endure any unnecessary extra pain by limping further to the car”
“I was only sleeping in the back of the car. The Civil Enforcement Officer could have asked me to move the car instead of giving me a ticket, although he would not have seen me as I had a blanket over my head.”